the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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