Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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