I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
