So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
