I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
