no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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