Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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