My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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