when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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