he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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