we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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