The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
