Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
