Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
