i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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