Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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