whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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