big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
