some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize