we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
