Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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