So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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