are you still at the devil's house?
she looked like the before picture.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
