he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
