Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
