college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize