i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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