First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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