So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
