So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
