ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
