You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
