I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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