the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
