it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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