Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize