I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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