College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
