Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
