i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
