What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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