I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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