In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
