Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
