I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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