Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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