oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
