Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
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the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
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You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.