Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.