ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably