i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..