It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
