Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
