sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The air was thick with penises
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
