I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
a search helicopter?!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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