Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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