My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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