i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
