the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
