I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
