Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize