direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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