Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
